A big sigh of relief isn’t even enough to describe this morning. We went in for my first year post diagnosis check up at MSK, a sonogram of my breasts, and boy was it a LONG half hour! I’ll first cut to the chase, yes as the title entails, the Dr didn’t see anything bad, and my breasts are both clear of any bad things in there! YAY!!!
I don’t think I’ve dreaded a doctor’s appointment as much as this one. It’s like you’ve been through the long and grueling trial, and you’re ready for your sentencing a year later. You’re holding your breath as the seconds tick on. The sonographer was really nice, we talked about being pregnant because she’s just had a daughter this past January. It was nice to focus on much more positive things like creating a new life instead of cancer. Anything would be nicer to talk about than cancer. We talked about the naucea, the extreme exhaustion, and some food cravings, while she was scanning my breasts with the sonogram wand. After talking about craving salty foods being a boy, and sweets being a girl (old wive’s tails), I asked her, “how does it look?” She said, “it all looks fine, all good, I’m not seeing anything.” She said it very matter of factly and confidently. After what seemed like a long sonogram scan (though it was at most 5 mins), it felt like at least half an hour. She told me I can wipe off the lubricant, and she’s all done. She said she’ll go and check with the doctor to see if he can read it right now, and will come right back.
After wiping off the cold lubricant off my chest, I closed my gown, and sat up. I started to pray, hard. I know it wasn’t more than a few minutes, but again it felt like a long time. She came in, and told me the doctor is in a meeting right now, and he will take a look at it once he’s done. So she’ll take me to another waiting room for now. She just wants to make sure that I don’t worry, because of the wait. Another 5 minutes went by, for what felt like a lot longer. I see the technician come to the room and told me I am free to get dressed now and go. All clear!
My God! The weight that came off my chest and shoulders was tremendous! I feel light again, and happy. I feel so good. I immediately texted Evan who was waiting outside the good news. We can both breathe a lot easier now, wow. I survived my first year! The walk out to the car felt so good, so breezy, so free. I know that I have to stick with my strict food intake for the rest of my life, with the exception of now until I deliver the baby, I can have some organic, grass fed meat, some carbs like white rice with cooked sushi occasionally, some noodles when we have ramen or Thai food and the rest I’ll keep the same veggies, fruits, flax, chia, soy etc.
Let’s hope that I keep being healthy and well for the rest of my life. I feel so lucky and grateful. I will be good, I will be fine.
Rajaverse 