Today started out like any other normal day while I’m on my unemployment and waiting for my weekly ultrasounds in my early pregnancy. My original appointment with Dr Kligman was supposed to be today at 12:45 pm, but because Evan had his cavity fillings scheduled for today, I had to “change” my ultrasound to tomorrow morning at 11:15 am.
Come 2 pm, I just had a really good recruiter phone call, and was drinking water, sad down on my couch to relax, and boom, I felt this gush of liquid come out of my vagina. I wasn’t freaking out yet, until I went upstairs to our bathroom, and saw my sweatpants was blood red. Oh no. So I sat down on the toilet and started to pee. I felt a clump slide out, and I really freaked out then. I called Evan who was downstairs. I told him about the bleeding. I’ve yet to cry, but man was I scared. I immediately called Dr Kligman’s office, and they told me to get there by 3:30 pm. That gave us the exact amount of time to drive to the upper east side from Northport.
Evan told the kids that he has an emergency at work, and I left in the car with him. We zoomed towards the city. That car ride of 1 hour and 10 minutes felt like 10 hours. We couldn’t even listen to any music the whole time. I was mostly crying hysterically, thinking about how unlucky my life has been until now, and wondering if I’ve had enough payback already, and that God would finally help me and look out for me. I went from crying to praying, to crying then back to praying. It was the hardest car ride I’ve ever had.
We finally got to the upper east side, we pulled into the first parking lot we saw near the hospital. There were tons of cars waiting before us. Finally after waiting for what felt like forever but was actually 10 minutes, I went down to the guy and told him I have a medical emergency, and please give us our ticket so we can go. The guy was really nice, and we got out of there.
I was lead to the exam room right away, and waited for the doctor for about 25 minutes. Again, that 25 minutes felt like a LONG time. I couldn’t talk the whole time, just praying and praying that the baby’s doing ok. I was mostly scared though, because I’ve never experienced this type of bleeding with my previously two pregnancies. Those ended in miscarriages, so I kept telling myself, maybe this is a good sign. I thought anything that’s different from the last two experiences is a good thing.
The doctor came in, asked me what’s going on, and said he’s going to check what’s going on. He asked the nurse for a ton of long cotton swabs and cotton napkins. Because of that my mind started to go everywhere crazy, like why is he needing so many of these swabs and napkins? Am I bleeding out? What’s he seeing?
After he cleaned up, he finally went in with the ultrasound. The first thing we saw was the baby, big enough to see this week, and we saw and heard the heartbeat! I bursted out in tears, I really couldn’t hold it in. The dr said, I need to stay still, or else he can’t see anything. Haha, I really should let me check everything. I kept trying to listen to the heartbeat, and I really did hear it, but honestly it was so surreal that right now that I’m writing about it, I can’t remember what it sounded like or felt like for me. I think was in such a shocked state that my mind and feelings was in blackout mode. But good thing Evan was there to witness the heartbeat, so was the doctor and the nurse. Pew, I had 3 other live witnesses for the baby’s heartbeat. Thank God!
The doctor still said to stay cautiously optimistic, there’s still danger for things to go wrong, since I did shed a bit of the placenta today. He said this happens A LOT, but everyone’s different, and all we can do is relax, lay down, and wait. No sex, no heavy lifting, do more bed rest that before, and I’ll be back tomorrow to be monitored again.
I’m now in bed, listening to tons of YouTube videos about other women’s experiences with this, thus keeping me more informed and also not feel so alone or scared. I think this is good enough for today for me. I’m calmer now after all this information, and I’m going to try to get some rest for an early morning train ride to the city again tomorrow. Wish us luck! Pray for our baby to stay put, and keep growing into a health, full-term baby! Amen.
Rajaverse 